I don’t ever talk about this because it’s SUPER HARD but my father considered himself an MRA. He blamed women for everything wrong in his life.
He learned to hate and blame women the same way racism teaches people to hate and blame minorities.
My mother saved us from his abuse but my father insisted that it was misandry that the court wouldn’t grant him custody.
He wanted to write a book about how to bankrupt your ex wife in court like he had done.
He carved the words “bitch” and “slut” into my mother’s car that she used to take us to school. He refused to pay child support.
He kidnapped me twice, he threatened my aunt’s life for trying to stop him. I was terrified to walk home alone for years.
After all this, my sister and I told the judge we didn’t want to see him anymore, the judge told us “children need a father”.
Despite all of this I still value and love the men in my life. I still listen to men.
My father once told me he didn’t think there were any women who were great artists, I told him other wise.
I told him about sexism, about the systematic exclusion of women artists throughout history.
That women had to use male names in order to be published or taken seriously.
He was surprised, he’d never thought of this.
I said “but dad, I’m an artist and a woman” and he said “yes well, you were raised by ME so you are different.”
Yes he was emotionally unstable, but he believed in ideas that are extremely hateful and harmful even for a stable person.
That is what makes a hate crime different from insanity.
That is why it’s important to talk about sexism, racism, homophobia and transphobia.
That is why it’s important to talk about how sexism effects all people, across the board.
These are human lives and human rights at risk. Stand up against toxic ideas, listen to people who are hurt by them.
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